Before I get into what happened today, I need to go over the angst I went through this summer...
~~~
Down the Road
Part time friend, hey, Part time friend
Will you be my part time friend?
Watch the sun rise, see the moon set
We'll go all the way down towards the end
But then you can leave, it's just like that
Part time friend, Part time friend
Will you be my part time friend?
Starting great but towards the end
You left and my wrists were bleeding red
How could you leave me alone right then?
Oh yea, I know, you're a part time friend.
Part time friend, Part time friend
Who dares be my part time friend?
I guarantee it won't be sad
For you, I know it won't be bad
You'll never have to see me cry
I won't ever have a tear. In. My eye
A brief hello and a curt goodbye
I'll try to never leave your side
All I am is a part time friend.
Part time friend, my Part time friend.
You'll never know how pain transcends
Cuz in the end, yea, in the end
All you were was a part time friend...
---
This one was for when Derek passed away, and I completely finished it after my little ordeal with Ba0.
~~~
Am I a cloud in the sky?
Blown by the wind.
Up too high...
Maybe it's why I like the rain so much.
It brings me back down to earth.
---
This one was just one of those epiphanies you have once in a while...
~~~
Les Rêves
Je suis un Rêveur sans la vie.
Permettez-moi le pouvoir pour dire les mots.
Permettez-moi mourir, la monde.
Mon corps est comme la verre
Permettez-moi briser avec les vitraux.
Donc je ne devrai jamais être seul.
---
And this one turned out the way it did because I didn't like the way it sounded in English, and I needed some practice in French anyway. It's pretty self-explanatory anyhow.
~~~
Today was your average day of highs and lows. I started off really high. I was excited, why shouldn't I be? I meeting Thun and Melvin, right? It sounded awesome. True, my parents were nazi the night before, and it was just a pain to explain to them how I have friends in SF tomoro, and it coincidently coincided with the festival in Japantown. They were all stressed out "Oh my, are they nice people?!" Etcetc. BS assumed that particular conversation, as those little white lies just kept coming out of my mouth. I hate to say it, but I'm good. Really good. It doesn't stop my parents from being nazi though, sinced they forced me into bed early...
Like I said, I was excited today. Past tense, was. When i woke up, it was awesome. Sure it was only 9:30, and sure my eyes hurt like hell, and sure I think I had a headache, but no matter, pain is most often overridden by more obsessive behaviors. According to dad, we had to go meet one of his old friends from HK and "Yum Tza" at some weird restaurant at San Leandro at 11:30. Fine. Did and done, of course, I was bored for a whole 2 and a half hours, but whatever, I can take it if it's Japantown right after w/friends.
Now I'm there. At J-town. It's 2. I'm waiting. And I'm waiting. Oh yea, I remembered that there was a FESTIVAL going on, so I did that. I walked all around the 4 or so blocks that made up J-town. ups, down, all arounds, even the food booths that would have smelled good had I not stuffed my face an hour before. The hours rolled by and by, and you know what? It feels like I got stood up. It SUCKS, and it's an understatement despite the boldness and the caps. I hate you two for getting so cuddly. I hope you read this and feel less cuddly. I want to feel cuddly too. It's like a classic case of jealousy. I'm not afraid to admit things like that, because I am, and there's no point denying it. You two suck. Couldn'y you two have peeled apart an hour earlier? Goodness, I'm venting at the wrong places.
After that was quite uneventful. I got bashed by my dad for having such irresponsible friends. his exact words? "Lei dee pung yao gum gah? Lei dei mm hai yeuk ding gah meh? Lei dim wui sic doh dee gum geh yun gah?" Then a quip from mom, saying that I shouldn't have such friends, seeing as how irresponsible they are. Exact words again: "Gum geh pung yao mm tzic duc yao gah, sune la, tzoa la." And so I left. My compensation? 10 boxes of Pocky. I love Pocky. I was happy again as I nibbled down that entire box. But like I said, highs and lows, right? That's what it was, highs and lows. After that was just an uneventful dinner in which my dad voraciously gulfed down some "dam dam meen" and splattered a quarter of the sauce on my otherwise white sweater. Great. What a day. Then there was CS and home.
Lesson in life 1: Enthusiasm is like a match, there's only so many times you let all the wood burn away and let the fire burn your fingers before you realize you could just have used a lighter.
Lesson in life 2: Pocky is a drug. Eat with caution.
Lesson in life 3: Don't sit in front of a hungry man. Food will definately fly in your direction.
And here's the product of my angst from today. Clive can only take getting stood up so many times. And this one is no different.
~~~
Where Everything Matters, Even the Punctuation
The grey in between.
The grey in between the black and the white.
The line in between the wrong and the right.
I dropped right into the cut,
Where all the colors mix and match
and where the world blurs
and all the lines they coincide
and they bring it all together.
It's the grey in between.
The grey in between the up and the downs,
The highs and the lows,
The goods and the bads,
The neutral space in between where it's red and not grey.
I finally realize:
The broken thin red lines on me seem
to yield all my shades of grey in between.
---
Fin.
And the wind brought Clive @ 10:11 PM
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Sunday, August 14, 2005 |
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