la di la di la......
so im bored again...i have chinese school tomoro, and i'd rather be home listening to that getbackers opening song. yea, i know. i have no life.
but seriously. when you start thinking about it all, you really dont care what you do or not. life goes something like this...
step 1: "this is so frickin retarded, why do i have to do this?"
step 2: "argh, this is so hard, but i have to do it anyways...i didnt want to do it in the first place, but since i started, i have to finish it"
step 3: "finally, im done!!! yay!!!" ::celebration::
step 4: "if i had a choice, i would do it all over again."
thas how most of us respond to most things anyways... but me?? heh heh... im so ironic... i leave off somewhere in step 2. hell, look at my math notebook, lmao.
why am i always feeling so angsty...especially this week...? lack of sleep? probably. adolecence? yea, that too. but im thinking about this more and more. what makes me act certain ways, you know. and i realize, you just do... what makes me me, is what makes me act the way i do. like i found out with kelvin (n), im special in a way that makes me me. i have the attitude of a person that doesnt want to be growing up, but for some strange reason ::insert dry humor here::, is. i like being me, and what's that? childish, impulsive, very very spontaneous XD. i like to win, sure, but most of the time, i can't. and i think thas where my personality kicks in. the classic "i dont give a damn" denial. it's also kinda funny how i know this. cuz i mean, people who usually are like this deny it. me, i think it's cool...i like me, "^_^". im through all the friggin "i wanna kill myself" crap, it's junior high stuff. its time to invest myself in more worthwhile things. what? i dont know, but hell, im gonna find something worth my while. thas what im living for right now. and like i discussed with margie, "my reason for living is simple. i live to find out why i live, what's my purpose in all this, etcetc." it got kinda theological after that, but that was the main gist of it.
oOoo, look at the time, i went too psychotic again, bad, bad clive. i'll have to lock evil clive up with clive the poet to see what they can come up with. hell, evil clive hasnt been getting too much sun lately, partially caged by final fantasy tactics advance and my invasion of choas box, lmao...
overall, this week was torture. like, really BAD torture... my math grade went from B+ to B- in a week. i really should set my priorities straight. so here's my promises to people...in order of priority, lmao
Kristin: i promise to be faster (at everything, haha)
Hubert: i am NOT gonna be crazy like you. i give you props for killing yourself with 5 APs, but i'll have to talk to you about that whole cutting thing...not good...
Kelvin (n): i say we mess with people's heads more often, but i promise not to go too far. though diss wars are SO much fun, lmao...
Annie: i promise to be less kiddy and act less stupid around you and Amy. and around family in general... and angsty too...i promise to stop those...
Kelvin (l): well, what can i promise you? i can promise you to make more decisions for myself more often?? LoL, remember that time we did that "what do you want" thing for like, 5 minutes?? that was funny...
Margie: i promise i'll always remember you (how can i not? "^_^")
Sana: i promise i'll never give you back your crayon shin-chan comics (unless you haul your ass here and get them yourself)
Dan: i'll promise to never "shut the fuck up", ever. lmao
Michelle: i promise i wont bug you anymore about everything XD
Rick: i promise i'll learn to draw
~~~~~
wow, i didnt know i promised (or just promised) people so many things... anyways. if all else fails, remember the name of my blog. like a windswept life, we must finish the things we never started. thas my mindset for now, and it's not ginna be changing for a while...
GonE
And the wind brought Clive @ 9:11 PM
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Friday, March 26, 2004 |
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