";_;" this is so hard for me... im going through a moral crisis right now... it's like, everything i've built up to, from me starting to develop who i am, to now, have something shattering me, right here, right now...it's so hard...
how many people out there are religious? many, many people out there believe in some higher power, and i don't deny that i do myself. i don't believe in god, hell, i think it's retarded that people follow what a lil book say. and yea, im dissing religion, but hey, i have my own to live by. stupid, sure, but i have my own lil "religion" of sorts. i don't pray to it, i don't convert, i don't care about what people say, it's just the way i live. it's time for a briefing in clive-ism
here's my train of thought, not really a religion since there's no set diety, just a set of morals and ideals, like confucianism. i believe that all people have a perfect life intended for them, and that if we made all the right choices, that would be living the ultimate, perfect life. look at this as a straight line if you will. if all the choices you make in life lead you down that striaght line, you would have lived the ultimate life. however, humans aren't perfect, and walking down that totally straight line is not possible, i repeat, impossible. no one in this world is perfect. there's nothing we can do about other people's feelings, their emotions, their beliefs. every choice we make, albeit a good one or a bad one, leads to a splinter in that one main, straight, line. furthurmore, we can treat you "lifeline" as an infinitisimal amount of points, and those would be your choices. all are points in which can splinter you from the ultimate life. imagine yourself at the beginning of your own lifeline. you can't make choices right as you're born, so until you can, your lifeline will be perfectly straight, since it's not something you control. as soon as you can, however, that's when things splinter. now, your life line already exists, it's something predetermined, therefore, i believe in fate, not destiny, and this is where the higher power comes in. the one that creates this ulltimate life for us. say you we're suppose to have a couple million dollars by the time you're 50. but one day, when you're twenty something, you win the lottery, and get the couple million dollars that you were supposed to have at 50. this isn't your perfect life. why?? because of what you missed in between. by winning that money early, some choices would have had to divert you off to another line and cross the perfect lifeline. you did get your money, but sice you're no longer on your perfect lifeline, you will continue to swerve back and forth between your choices until you finally come back onto the line. we now continue to love and marrige and all that crap. as we all know, we're not the only frucking people on the face of this earth! we interact with people, and i'll be damned, they effect us in unpredictable ways. the way that other people are represented is this: a network of connected lines. so, say you found your soulmate, that would be the life line thatintersects yours, and moves along your perfect lifeline. you both would still make your own choices, but the two perfect lifelines will always stay side by side.
as far as briefing goes, i think that would be good, i explained more than half of it, all that's left is a diagram and a couple of details, but anyways, to the root of my problems...
all lines are straight, albeit in one way or another. the final part of the problem would be "how do perfect lifelines combine with each other if they are all going the same direction, i mean, if the line isn't straight anymore, it's not going to be the perfect life for one of you." and my answer would simply be, lines are all straight at an angle. we can see our life line as a straight line, but haven't you heard "life has it's ups and downs" before? my principle is exactly that, the line is straight in concept, but it CAN go up and down. don't think 2-d on this, your soulmate could be in a similar straight line, except that by joining lines, s/he can reach the perfect life sooner.
okok, enough clive-ism... here's my problem. how can one kill thousands to save millions? and by killing those thousands, claim to have saved everyone because CHOICE was taken away?? If choice was taken away, like communism, but much more extreme than that, in order to save the world from ourselves. how would we be saved even though we are? without choice, we wouldn't have to worry, right?? but choices make up who we are, it's the road we take. how can there NOT be choice?! having the perfect life, but it's controlled by someone?? so the utopia for the world would actually be a dystopia for 1 person? how is it that by taking away choice, we would save ourselves, even though it's theoretically true?? (for better understanding, just knock off the kill thousands to save millions part, the point is that choice was taken away. i just want to make the situation more dire.)
i believed that "choice makes up who you are, if you don't have that, you're nothing" how would it be the perfect line if you have no points to make one. will this "line" actually be a line?? will it go any direction?? how?, and most importantly, why can this logic be applicable? ";_;"
this has been a theorist's announcement, "i've been crawling in the dark, looking for the answers..."
is there something more to this?
And the wind brought Clive @ 11:00 PM
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Wednesday, February 25, 2004 |
