ok...it got totally friggin screwed that thing down there..., its supposed to say clive (yea, im egotistic...) but os wells...
And the wind brought Clive @ 11:39 PM
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Wednesday, July 31, 2002 |
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lets see how that top thingy turns out...
newayz, today was cool, rudely awaken, but cool nonetheless...its not a pleasent feeling to have ur dad suddenly jump and sit onto ur bed at 7:30 in the morning...
the ppls that got reanimation at sam goody got RIPPED OFF!!! eh heh heh heh...those idiots got it for 17.99, but not kelvin and me, nope, we got it for 14.99, still over the retail value, but the cheapest place we can find...im not sayin where...
we went to metreon, played ddr, i cant handle nething over 5 feet...i spent like 5 bucks in there...and when we came out, we got starbucks, i got a grande white chocolate mocha, what i usually get...and spent like, 4 more bucks? i was done in like, 5 minutes? less? and we went to jack in the box, where i spent like, 6 more dollars? man, i swear, the whole worlds money isnt enough for mai appetite...not quite, but u get the point...
spent another 3 1/2 to 4 hours wandering around powell, went back into that nordstrum mall like, 5 times in 4 hours, LoL...window shopped a lot, then we jus sat there in this one place on the 3rd level (starting from the bart station)we sat there for like, 25 minutes. i got thirsty, and rich and me went down and got some raspberry snapple, and mea didnt want neone to see her eat, and we went and got drings and ate and played some cards, thas about it and we rode the bart home...
kelvin and me watched worst-case scenario and ripleys believe it or not again...eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...sharks eating theyre own eggs is a grat way to lose your appetite...and kelvin left and i ate pasta for dinner and that mai lifes story for today "^_^"
i still cant do those 3-d letters...damn...
And the wind brought Clive @ 11:34 PM
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uneventfulness...
so mai fuckin comp disconnected me from the internet just a mere 2 minutes ago, and all i typed went along with it...sigh...well...nvm that, i kinda forgot what i wrote in here b4, but hey, it was something along the lines of what i put in mai profile...like, how i hate all u ppls for having cable/dsl/broadband cuz then u can dl ur friggin sites faster letting all u ppls dl the friggin hw faster than the ppls with 56k modems...and yea, u guys can all kiss mai ass, so newayz, i gots a new phd! (finally, im cheap enough the get a new pencil after 3 years...) its gold too! ::i lofe gallllllllld:: LoL...well, thas about it...i'll b goin now...
And the wind brought Clive @ 10:49 AM
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Tuesday, July 30, 2002 |
so much for springing it on mai parents at the last moment...well, annie invited me to go to sf somewhere round the beginning of july, i think it was guilty conscience (er jus may asking) so i go too. now i guess i mite not b going, but hey, i wanna. so eh, w/e about it today was fun. we went to the arts and wines festival. i was going to try out some of that "carbonated piss," but they said i was underaged, wth...LoL, jkjk the only thing that was cool was that titanium 8 pointed star ring that i saw. if only it werent 75 bucks...
well, i took that one weird survey on hondas, and...
You are a stock Civic Si. You're fun loving and rambunctious, yes you are. You make decisions quickly and execute them even quicker. However, somewhere in the back of your mind you're worrying about mundane, sometimes trivial, things... it's not expected of a person like you, and it's actually kind of refreshing.
which honda are you? | visit high mileage
And the wind brought Clive @ 2:54 AM
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Sunday, July 28, 2002 |
akira is...cool...its weird and it gives me that lain/neon genesis feeling...the only thing about the movie that made me go HOLY SHIT at was the fact that there was one dvd for the movie...and the other for the special features...like 4500 still images. i was like, what...the...hell... in mai opinion, endless waltz is cooler in animation (no duh, its like, 10 years newer...) but then akira had a WAY better plotline...at least it wasnt predictable...
i was talking to raphe (the park rocks "^_^") and he was all asking me what the hell i was doing there. now i have a question for everyone who reads this, am i supposed to be the stereotype of antisocialness?? well newayz, we were going on about how we hate each other (as usual) and it got to the estranged point of in what ways we were going to try and kill each other, and from that, we went onto anime and games. so 15 minutes later, we were all askin ourselves, "didnt we want to kill each other just now??" so in the end, we didnt go newhere, figuratively. we walked around the park...
sigh...why do we have to have hw in the summertime?? i think it sux like hell, especially when that bitch mordaunt is making US load a page through adobe thats 20 mb!!!!! that takes...oh iono...3 hours??? see, if teachers were more well prepared, THEY would xerox it FOR us, not make us load a friggin webpage...
i still think kelvin's new cell number is ironic, since his worse feeling in the world is "you dont wanna live, but you cant die" but then his phone number is 5354...hmm...
i wanted to dl that one song in devil may cry by julienne called seeds of love, but that fuckin kazaa doesnt have it, i found "ending theme" but i dont think its the whole thing, and that sucks...
quotes that make me go into the weird writing mode:
"no one will tell me what to do now, no one can boss me around, not even you keneda, and you've been doing it since the day we met..."~tetsuo, akira
"you've been running all your life shinji, you do whatever other people ask you to do, you, ikari shinji, are selfish. you only do what is asked of you to make yourself feel wanted, isnt it?"~asuka, the case of ikari shinji, neon genesis
"you're god? hah! i fail to believe that a person-a being, who asks me to do what they want me to do can be called god. and as long as you're in the wired, i, am god"~cyberlain, serial experiments lain
"history is much like an endless waltz, the beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever. but on the day of my coronation, i shall stand on top of the earth sphere victorious"~ mariemaia, endless waltz
"get a hold of yourself, you cant do anything unless you yourself are capable mentally and physcally, if u cant do it, dont, or else i'll drown you in the river of blood that i have sinned so much to create."~older yuma, epic story
"i wouldnt be talking old man, if i dont at least try to push myself past my limits once in this life, i wouldnt be going anywhere and you wouldnt be here trying to lecture me into killing you."~ middle aged yuma, epic story
umm...yea, i think thas it...theres hell of a lot more, but i dont feel like putting nemore in here since most of them are conversation-wise, so yea...oh and for the quote of the blog...
"if you want to go anywhere in life, buy yourself a car and drive, walking down the road of life just takes too long." - me "^_^"
And the wind brought Clive @ 8:02 PM
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Friday, July 26, 2002 |
umm...i havent done much...swim and run like usual...(yea justin, i do about 75 laps now, break every 10-15 laps to catch mai breath, and about 3-4 days a week, happy?) running is torture, as usual...iono why i put maiself through with it...today i got lazy, i didnt want to do much swimming with thomas a line away from me, so i jus slacked off with 54 laps today...plus, mom wasnt around, so no point in staying...
friggin ps2 is pissin me off...it keeps shaking the disk around...i think theres something wrong with the magnet or something, but i guess i kinda fixed it after it wouldnt play endless waltz. (so what? i kicked it across the room...)
endless waltz is good, i like the video better than the ova, but then the ova has a better credits thingy. i wonder how akira is gonna b like...i heard that i kicks ass, but hey, i wouldnt know, i havent watched it yet...i plan to tomoro, since i got nothing to do...i mite go to aarons house, or bingos house, or whatever...
tomoro, im gonna have to start on the hw, i gots nothin better to do, so why not do some friggin boring hw that takes too friggin long to load?
mai life rite now is neither turbulent nor windswept, its jus plain..."eh"...
And the wind brought Clive @ 10:22 PM
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Thursday, July 25, 2002 |
so im rite, arent i almost always?? i havent blogged in like, 5 days, so yea...
im at aaron's house rite now, PA, arron and me r now discussing high school... so eh, ate a couple of chicken nuggets and im drinking grape soda...what has the world come to??? well...since aaron is watching, i'll go now...
And the wind brought Clive @ 5:33 PM
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Tuesday, July 23, 2002 |
u know, im starting to blog less and less...dont know y, but i dont really care...so i guess i'll blog when i feel like it, and that may be very soon, soon, not so soon, weekly, monthly, yearly, or never...wait...i went a bit too far...but eh, wth...
i got devil may cry from aaron...its a cool game, but im almost done with it...im on chapter 21 for gosh sakes, and theres only 23 chapters in the whole thing...in 2 days....its a hella freakin cool game, but with a look at an faq, 2 days is just TOO LITTLE...
lets see...rick came over, sana came over, kelvin came over both days, and yea, thas all...
And the wind brought Clive @ 11:18 AM
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Thursday, July 18, 2002 |
havent blogged in 2 days, so i'll do it now...
so this weekend was interesting...i forgot...i forgot what i did except for swimming at club sport...500 yards...i got new goggles...and went to great mall and read ranma...LoL...
"this pond has very tragic story of panda. panda drowned in this pond 2000 years ago, and now whoever falls into this pond takes panda's body."
"oh no!! not the pond of maiden!! very tragic indeed...1500 years ago, young maiden drown in this pond, and whoever falls into pond takes body of maiden."
i love that weird chinese man that said that...
LoL...kelvin left me psychic force. yay!!! i get to play it a lot now!! i also borrowed charlies angels from matthew...funfun...i love that part where lucy lu gets to b the superviser woman...
And the wind brought Clive @ 6:11 PM
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Monday, July 15, 2002 |
okay...im still wondering if this thing would post or not...but hey, what the hell, i'll just type...
TESTING TESTING...1,2,3...
okay i got nothing left to say...
And the wind brought Clive @ 10:12 PM
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Friday, July 12, 2002 |
rules in your life...im not talkin about restrictions...rules...most ppls r just, do whatever, and live a good life. but its different for me, and for all u ppls out there that have the rules "do whatever and have a good life," i say those arent very good rules to live by...
i say, screw everything, make ur own rules...eh heh heh...mai three rules r...
russian roulette - basically, its "screw everything, do it now, and take blame (consequence) later"
instant karma - yea...carry around something that can be carried around easily (at school, binder...:laughs evilly:) and whenever someone pisses u off, beat them over the head with it...:shrugs nonchalantly: nothing wrong with giving ppls what they deserve rite??
and finally...my favorite rule (and has gotten me in deeper trouble...)
smile!! - yes, yes, smile at absolutely EVERYTHING, laugh if u want to, i do both...how to use it? good question! as rick mentioned once, use the smile when ur parents r trying to lecture you, to u, ur listening to some horrible music and r laughing ur ass off at the way it sounds. (yes ive done this before...) warning, although this makes u feel good, b prepared for some kind of archaic punisment from ur parents after...and by archaic, i mean grounded from certain places and objects or just plain grounded...
i live by these 3 easy, simple, and fun rules, and yes, i enjoy laughing at mai parents lectures...
till then, more delightful stories later...LoL...hmm...this thing isnt posting...
And the wind brought Clive @ 2:39 PM
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heres ur one of a kind conversation with big words...
bryatt: stop playing that melodramatic drudge...i hate that rambunctious music...
bryant: hey, im studying drama in mon lycee, and its not my fault that they wanted me acquainting myself with this rediculed piece of "rambunctious melodramatic drudge" known more widely as opera, en francais.
bryatt: bon maigre, monsieur parce que tu n'as pas de la chance et parce que tu as tres stupide pour ton age
bryant: tait toi mon snob copain, et je ne suis pas stupide, mais toi...
and on goes this exceedingly long french conversation in which i didnt understand much of, i had to ask bryatt afterwards to see what they were talkin about...and i had to kinda bend what they said to the limited vocabulaire i own
translation:
mon lycee - high school kinda thing
en francais - in french
bon maigre, monsieur parce que tu n'as pas de la chance et parce que tu as tres stupide pour ton age - have a good shit (the french way of sayin good luck) because youre not very lucky and that you are stupid for your age
tait toi mon snob copain, et je ne suis pas stupide, mais toi... - shut up my snobbish pal (hey, im translating directly) and im not stupid, but you...
~
and so goes this conversation...
And the wind brought Clive @ 9:17 PM
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Thursday, July 11, 2002 |
i thought i changed mai template to sandbox at nite, but het, i still like this one, and im not complaining...all i would like to say is damned that fuckin tom fukunaga...well, mordaunt, phair, and colburn too, since thas where the hw came from...and for a variety of other reasons that r not to b mentioned...
so the ppls got mai blogger fixed, yay!!!
today is ur average uneventful day until, of course, your assignment sheet gets caught in the fan thats sitting rite in front of ur face thats going at full blast...uneventful huh??
better go b4 mom starts to complain...
And the wind brought Clive @ 7:14 PM
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the blogger is going whacko...
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:48 PM
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Genius
Find out what anime character cliche you are.
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:44 PM
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*meow*
What fuzzy creature are you?
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:40 PM
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HAHAHAHA
Find out what anime character cliche you are.
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:30 PM
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Magic Box
What Random Object From Ydoc Nameloc's Room Are You?
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:28 PM
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Romantic
Find out what bishonen you are.
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:25 PM
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The cat in the background of Trigun.
Find out what secondary animated character you are.
trigun...cool...
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:18 PM
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You have an empty smile.
Find out what anime bad boy you are.
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:16 PM
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You're the cat of Tiny's World!
What Tiny's World character are you?.
great, im a cat...
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:08 PM
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Commander and leader of the Power Puff Girls.
Take the Cartoon Hero Quiz?.
and i like the powerpuff girls, how ironic...dont laugh, they just look funny...LoL
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:00 PM
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Which Magic
Stone are you? by. Xera
And the wind brought Clive @ 11:52 AM
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And the wind brought Clive @ 11:48 AM
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god, theres nothing eventful to post, so i'll do all the surveys that kelvin did in his blogger...in fact, ill just do all the surveys on that one ydoc page...
And the wind brought Clive @ 11:39 AM
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i just wanted to say something that has recently been really grabbing me...so its time for a Question Of The Blog!!!
Question Of The Blog
why do people have to insult other people because they do things differently and take care of their own personal matters in different ways than u (the specific individual) prefere to accomplish or resolve the matters???
i would like ne open-minded replies via aim...so yea, thas all i'll say for now...enda story
And the wind brought Clive @ 6:41 PM
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Tuesday, July 09, 2002 |
umm...rose wanted me to add a few things...
- rose kinda threw her popsicle 230 feet down the side of the capilano suspension bridge...
- kiradeep signh eh, kelvin?? interesting...
- oh...and that announcement to rose about how to not throw things over the side of the bridge...
i believe thas it...cept for this one thing that i read that got me kinda pissed since i can relate to what they're saying...i wont specify who though...
whats wrong huh??
~iViE
so i have somethings that r wrong with mai life
so i have somethings i would like to strife
now what is wrong with that??
whats wrong huh? think u cant relate to that??
i seriously think u gotta rethink
how to reprimand urself for making urself cool, letting urself sink
u tell me now this is how i like to be
this is how i like to be me
how r u to judge reality?
how much blinded r u now??
enough so that u cannot see??
whats wrong huh?? think u can understand me??
got a problem with the way i act?
how i keep throwing facts back and back
when u dont even know me that well till ur trapped inside mai personal hell
whats wrong huh?? think u cant retort to the way u rat and tell??
u insult, u discuss, u critcize
u laugh, u dis, u fantasize
about the things that utililize
about the way i dramatize
whats wrong huh?? think u can ingnore when u recognize??
i dont bitch and i dont whine
maybe thats what u do, since u implied
supplied the fact that u act this way
as if i listen to what u can say
whats wrong huh?? think u can outlast me before you decay??
how the way i live and feel
how the way i percieve in the real
how rain pours down mai window sill
got a problem with that??
whats wrong now huh??? think i cant handle it??
UR DEAD WRONG BITCH!
~
um...yea, thas about all i can make up in...12 minutes...
And the wind brought Clive @ 2:10 PM
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"guess whos back...back again..."
yea...im back, and i have quite a bit to type about too...
wednesday
wednesday sucked, all we did was go to the friggin airport (the san jose one...) we had to hurry and everything, we ate lunch inside the friggin terminal (well, we sat there for like, 3 hours...) we flew to seattle (yay, lets stab clive with the space needle) and we got there at around 11:45. it took a friggin 45 minutes to get the goddamned cars...and we got hella lost too,. long story, when we got to the hotel (comfort inn and suites) we were supposed to meet down in 15 minutes if we wanted to have more food (hey, it was 1:30, i hadnt eaten since 5...) and no one came down...cept for james and his mother...i got the bacon ultimate cheese burger...thinking it makes me drool now...just to say, comfort inn was better than radisson hotel...
thursday
ah...the one day tour of seattle...i kinda forgot a lot of it...all i remembered was that we went to the waterfront....wait....OH....now i remeber...we were at the waterfront, all that was cool there was the arcade. we saw this fuckin messed up version of ddr...the one wif 5 buttons...yea, that one...and we just had to laugh our ass off at sharon, who did an absolutely terriffic job of whacking those goddamned crocodile thingys...we left and we started playing retards on this one main street...we were waving to everybody going "have a nice day" and all the other shiet...after that, we ate and went to this one farmers market, we left that place and started for the monorail which took us to the space needle. i didnt even go up...all we saw (we as in kelvin, me, rick, sharon, and rose) was the amusement park around it. now, if the tickets werent as goddamned xpensive, we would have gone on hella more rides (i mean, a buck a ticket?? what the hell???)...and after, we left and headed for vancuver...we got lost for like, 3 times, and we were so damned hungry that we (we this time as, me, kelvin, and sharon) just went into this one gas stations store and brought this one big ice cream bucket and all three of us jus went and ate it all (hey, oreo is good!!) we got to the hotel and we couldnt find neplace that was still open...and we had to find this one place that opened till 3...so we just bought tons of food, around 200 canadian dollars if i remember...and after we ate, we went back to our hotel rooms and yea...
friday
oh god...this is getting tedious, but neways, we went on some company business, and then we went to yum tza. note to self, the squid is HELLA good...and we got hella bored (we as in the 5 ppl group) so we went down to the mall under the restauraunt and started SHOPPING!!! "^_^" YAY!!! ahem...well, neways, i bought an initial d dvd for 5 DOLLARS CANADIAN too bad it doesnt work...and an ayumi hama saki cd for 6 dollars, in america, thas like 3.67 and 4 dollars respectively...lets see...after, we went to the capilano suspension bridge (i walked acrossed it 7 times) :smug look: and yea, that was the highlight of that part of mai day...after, we went to gas town, shut up, thas really what it was called...yea, then after that, we went to the revelving restauraunt, i got steak and lobster...although im not one for the seafood, i would have to say that the steak isnt bad...some other eventful thing happened up there (next to playing i spy hella small things wif vancuver) we went back to our hotel and to the nite market place. it was SO COOL!!! i swear to god, i bought 20 dollars of UV photons, thas like what? 16 dollars for both?? (yea, i got 2) and then i attempted suicide by buying these 2 dollar fish balls that were as spicy as HELL...and we all know how much i love spicy shiet...even mai dad said that they were spicy...so yea, we went back to the hotel at aound 12
saturday
so, we had to wake up at like, 7, and go on this goddamned cruise to go to victoria island. the only thing that was cool on the boat/cruise was the arcades, yes, note the plural, arcades so i suck at racing, so what?? i kicked rose's ass didnt i?? and when we got off, we went to butchart gardens, the place royally sucked, end of story, i wont even go into how it sucked, cuz i could go on for ages...we went to this place called uncle "i dont remember" 's buffet and that place also royally sucked, yea, remember the soup and ice cream?? (sharon, u should have asked rick to take a picture of ur ice cream, i swear it would have been hilarious) the 5 of us tried to make a root beer surprise. the surprise is that u cant taste the rootbeer since its got ice cream, salt, pepper, strawberry syrup, an orange, and some of that soup. :shudders: at least the boat ride back made up for mai appetite...yea, remember mai perfectly made ice cream?? it was so cool, and it only costed 3 bucks...on the ride back to the hotel, we (as in rick, me, and kelvin) made sharon cry (thus resulting in kelvin breaking his import jams cd, now, if u had read this far, now u know why) this left us 3 guilty, kelvin tried to kill himself, rick jus felt guilty, and i felt guilty i didnt feel guilty at making her cry. after we got into the hotel, mai mom and dad's old classmates came to our hotel room, and we went to this malaysian restaurant to have dinner, we went to the nite market (again) after we ate and we went to have siu yeea at this one place called honalulu's and i ended up having 2 fuckin desserts, whether thas a good or bad thing, iono. after we ate (we as in mai parents, their classmates, and me) we whent to our hotel room and talked some more, i went to sleep at like 2:30, but according to mi parents, they talked till around 4...
sunday
eh, went to yum tza again, and started to go to the airport. thas pretty much all we did until 5:10...we waited until 6 to get into the plane and got back at around 9. ate dinner at country way, went home and slept, thas pretty much it of mai trip...
if i had to rate it from 1 to 10, i would give this trip a 4.9, not quite good, and i had to suffer a lot of it, so yea...
end of story, end of trip "^_^"
And the wind brought Clive @ 11:48 AM
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Monday, July 08, 2002 |
ah, i officially pronounce The Way of Life I & II to be complete "^_^" the first one's just a compliation of like, 6 weeks worth of me getting pissed off and writing 8 lines each, and the 2nd part i just used 3 parts, beggining, catalytical, and solutions, and put them all together...this is what you get when clive gets VERY bored...
The Way Of Life
~iViE
Here I am
Out on my own
Out in this expanse
Out in this darkness
Out here on my own
Inside my own world I stand alone
Inside my own world I think alone
Inside my own world I live alone
Inside my own world I die alone
And it takes me but a second to realize the truth...
I am on my own
All alone
Nothing broken
Nothing shown
The facade I wear every day
Worn down by what others say
And I’m left with nothing
There’s nothing you can say or do
There’s nothing here to think
I’m here in my own little world
Pushed out to the brink
As I walk on the land I dare so call my world
I’m walking on thin glass
My world is controlled by the consciousness around me
From future present and past
Places are changed
People are changed
I am changed
The more I learn
The more I become
The wiser I am
The more I am numb
Of the places and people around me
Full of utter lies and of deceit
Of the people who love and care about me
Their acts they will not repeat
For a fallen with no hope to stand
For a person given reprimands
Anger is my life
My rage consumes my being
My life was jus deleted
I spent my time and heart on you
Only to get rejected
Seeing as to how things are
My judgement's not yet up to par
With what people expect of me
Out of rage and out of fear
The fear of people that's hating me
I'll laugh in their faces and show them my fury
And imagine what it would be like
To truly suppress the me within
The real me
The one no one will want to see
The evil, scheming, outraged, outspoken me
The jealous, hateful, malicious me
The me without the mask
What will it take to set myself free
Till today, i still don’t know
In no way you can understand me
In no way you can see
The me that has been wandering
The me I want to never be
To live life is torturous
To die is to sin
To do neither is wrong in either senses
To do both will shame my next of kin
From heaven nor hell
In civilization or a jail cell
I am the outcast
A reflection of the pain I feel
The clouds on a rainy day
Clouds of storms and uncertainty
And all to life that's gray
I am a mirror or the sky
I know not all the things around me
Not even a little crumb
And after all this time
You’d think that I learned some
To defend myself from this dreary world
To protect myself in need
You’d think that I learned life
From the warnings I take heed
The mysteries of life are too baffling
My eyes are clouded and cannot see
To have everything disappear
To pray the inevitable will never be
Life as we know it
Has never been fair
This life of mine that I own right now
How I wished it was never there
Second chances don’t last forever
There won’t always be a way out everywhere
And today
I have learned my lesson
Always and Forever
The lessons that can be learned but not taught
Goodbye and Never
Words that are lies and can be caught
Time can be the most valuable thing
But it always races against us
Life is full of riddles and mazes
Made much too mysterious
Luck can be called upon in times of need
But it won’t always answer
To those blinded by greed
The road to life is harsh and gray
The path of happiness is far away
The good times we know will never stay
And all I have are memories
If only life was more comprehendible
To see what I have made myself
To know what I must do
I scare myself with my imagination
I feel like such a fool
Without any road sign
Without any map
My life is nothing but a dream
Woken by a clap
The path of life is foggy
The light of hope is dim
My life hangs on the balance
My chances are so slim
And to finally realize who you are
What’s your purpose
And that you're out here on your own
That is the Way Of Life
The Way Of Life (part II, Anger Management)
~iViE
No one has gotten me to the point of closure
No one has ever seen
Bend myself to the pressure
Try to make sense of something obscene
Why am I always getting blamed?
For something that’s erased and now has been
Given the message that I have shamed
Just go to hell, don’t make a scene
I just don’t give a damn
I have to get to the point and find my origins
Making sure I’m not mistaken
Using your mental boundaries to write me margins
Hoping I’ll be shaken
At your certain show of stern command
You think I give a fuck?
If you think you’ve shaken me, know this: you’re out of luck
There’s nothing I can do to change your mind
It’s nothing but a waste of time
I’ve tried and tried to make you see
Just worked so hard to leave you be
Isn’t that what you wanted?
To finally to be able to understand me?
But have you ever thought about what you never see?
Have you thought about what I could be?
If only you have left me alone
I could show you what I know I would have been
To show you what you’ve thrown away
The last standing part of me, willed on by sheer defiance
Soon I’ll leave you in disgrace
No tyrant can control me, no matter how hard they try
My smile hides many things
My smile is like my cry
It doesn’t matter what’s left of me
All that matters is that I get to see
The day that you finally ply
That your only son wont kill you
Your innocent little boy, all grown-up and fueled by hate
Look what your dominance has brought yourselves
I’m not your slave and I never will be
Ill gouge your eyes out to make you see
To me, this is just the beginning and…
Finally
Someone broke through and told to me
Used my art of anger against me
What’s been done can’t be taken back
Through reality I've realized that
To used my road of passion, and turn it into rage
I felt this way before
I've been meaning to turn over a new page
In the book, I should have written more
Look forward in life
I never look behind
Who in hell do you think you are?
To go take a knife and slit my throat
To myself, I am not yet up to par
Through lyrics and word
To weave a web
For a forsaken person to step into
For a goddamned person left to choose
Between what I want to say
And what I had to say
You're not the only person who had to suffer
Have you ever looked the other way?
If you had, consider this
Was there something you could have missed?
Was there something that caused all this?
If you hadn’t, I’ll just say that
Something that’s been done cant be taken back
Through reality I’ve realized that
Knowing the wrong and doing the rite
I’m not blaming anybody
I believe in instant karma
To me, the ultimate rule defined
I wont ask for pity
I ask to be left alone
So leave me be, left not in pain
But in twisted, wicked humor
To see my point being taken across time and space
To the person meant to race
Against me to achieve the winner place
Peering into my mind once more
Everything changes as consequences are thrown in
Changing the problem
Yet the destination is still the same
Making all of this catalytical
Within the only solution i can help to find
Wanting my problems to be defined
Leaving you writhing; leaving you entwined
You've got no hold onto me
Got nothing left for you to see
See, now u've got to leave me be
Im about to be charged with first degree
Murder, harrassment, felony
Misdemenor, abuse, and robbery
You've got no hold on me what so ever
Got no hold on me till the end of forever
Got no hold on me period
Im not the one that tell u this
Leave me alone, stay out of it
I cant help it if u interlope
Your comebacks suck, they make me choke
My feeling, my emotion, my rage, my fury
Its all in my solution, and of this i am weary
Of the things i did to derive to this
From east to west i pay the defecits
Of my one and only outlet of poetic genius
Stand up you weakling, my art is multifarious
So just shut the hell up about you so-called abilities
Cuz i jus hate your guts
I go to you for advise, not insults
Not put-downs, cluelessness, and dead-end ruts
You want to know how much hurt is in this cut?
Right on the back of mai wrists?
Hah, that's my solution to everything
Death its so tempting, you just cant resist
my final solution
~
deep, yes, dark, yes, good?? iono, i want u guys opinions, whoever even reads till here...i wont b updating this fot around 6 days, so eh, this thing will be hella worn out...
And the wind brought Clive @ 8:39 PM
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Tuesday, July 02, 2002 |
so im going onto threats, murder schemes...er...plots...er...nvm...and many many other dark thing that im calling mai dark ages for now...hmm...i see the title :holds up banner: "THE DARKNESS OF CLIVE'S POETRY" ah...wouldnt that b cool, TWOL part 1 was just raw emotion, now ive got angst thrown in there somewhat...and prolly some things about how im going to kill some ppls, and in what was im going to kill these ppls, and how im going to torture them b4 they die...hmm...yea, definitely dark, definitely disturbing (as mai writing eva gets) and definitely angsty (not that i try to make it that way)
solution (rebel) :part 3 of TWOL2:
~iViE
within the only solution i can help to find
wanting my problems to be defined
leaving you writhing; leaving you entwined
uve got no hold onto me
got nothing left for you to see
see, now u've got to leave me be
im about to be charged with first degree
murder, harrassment, felony
misdemenor, abuse, and robbery
uve got no hold on me what so ever
got no hold on me till the end of forever
got no hold on me period
im not the one that tell u this
leave me alone, stay out of it
i cant help it if u interlope
ur comebacks suck, they make me choke
my feeling, my emotion, my rage, my fury
its all in my solution, and of this i am weary
of the things i did to derive to this
from east to west i pay the defecits
of my one and only outlet of poetic genius
stand up you weakling, my art is multifarious
so just shut the hell up about you so-called abilities
cuz i jus hate your guts
i go to you for advise, not insults
not put-downs, cluelessness, and dead-end ruts
you want to know how much hurt is in this cut?
right on the back of mai wrists?
ha, that's my solution to everything
death its so tempting, you just cant resist
my final solution
eh...i wrote this when i was listening to kill you...eh, weird eminem craving just then, and this is the insane outcome...and amazingly, i think i have a bit of inspiration left (not enuff for TWOL part 3, if im going to write one at all...) and lata, i think im going to post the whole part on and part 2 up...hmm, thas not a bad idea...i just have to look for all mai murder files...wait...did i say murder?? i mean mai manic files...manic eh, eh, so i am somewhat qualified for the insane ward, so what? bite me.
And the wind brought Clive @ 2:44 PM
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ah...vancuver...er...seattle first, come on wednesday...yay, 1 day left!!! iono what to pack, hell i havent even started yet...the only drawback (in mai opinion) of this trip, is that i have to be stuck with Bitch, Bitch2, and Whiney Bitch (also known as The Stuck-Up Brat)
connie, if ur reading this, IF YOU HAVE AN AYUMI HAMASAKI CD, I WANT IT FOR THE TRIP!!!
shes the best, hands down, both connie, and ayumi! "^_^"
LoL, the whole yesterday was fun...i did quizzes and played frequency till mai brains fell out, damn i cant get pass the normal levels...i keep messing up in like, the 10th section...in mai opinion, the song Frequency is better than What's the Five O, iono why, i did beta on Frequency, but i dont have nething agains rap though...at like 6, Davi and JHsu came by and said the y wanted to play basketball, eh, so i went with them. we tried to get howard, but he looked like he wasnt home. eh to that too. we just went to hopkins, watch these kids play soccer (i had to resist not running up to one of them and kicking the ball into their pitiful goal) whil;e we just shot hoops for a while. we attempted horse though (we attempted to play, but utterly failed ...) went to taco bell after wards, i just got sprite and them 2 got that weird chicken bowl thingy, whateva that was...went home, played more frequncy, watched tv, and about 20 minutes ago, i signed on and started typing and looking for naomi cuz i want her ayumi cd (if she has one)...
enda story, enda day "^_^"
quoting mai favorite cuzin: AAAAALLLLLOOOOOHHHHHAAAAA!!!!!
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:53 AM
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im tough! :nodnod:
What kind of egg are you?
And the wind brought Clive @ 1:56 PM
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Monday, July 01, 2002 |
im trying to get maiself a djinn...
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:35 PM
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im a ferrari, but in no way am i fast, antisocial maybe, but not fast...its so weird how these quizzes r like...and wtf is up with blogger, they took out mai friggin name!!!
Which car are you?
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:28 PM
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well...im still thinking about how :and what: am i going to name mai new poem...i kinda wanted to write a part 2 to the way of life, but then it doesnt seem rite since the way of life is an accumulating poem, and i wanted it to stay that way...i cant begin to count the times ive been yelled at last week, and all by the big bitch too (yea kelvin, thats a new one...) lets see, on monday, she was watching tv, and mai dad was vacuuming, i was online (like i am everyday) and suddenly, she pops into the room and just start going "why are you always sitting in front of the computer?" i mean, what would YOUR usual answer be?? i just went "cuz im bored and have nothing to do??" you know how parents like to be all irrational and everything (i think its their sport) and they just like to take it out on their kids?? like how theyre always hypocritical?? well, so she started yelling at me, she was all going "why are you talking like that?? huh?? answer me!!" all in cantonese, no duh...if u want to canto version, its "lei dim guy sang yut gum gong yea ah?? hah?? lei fai di wah bei ngoa teng!!" and i was all, "what did i do wrong??" or "ngoa yi gaa gong tzau meh??" and she kept on yelling at me like "you dont even know what you did wrong?" or "lei leen tzi ghey gong tzau meh lei doh mm tzi??" so i just played mai deaf mute mode on her for like, the next 15 minutes, nodding mai head occasionally, when she left, i kinda just laughed, and i think she got really pissed...and thas only monday too...i dont wanna go on to like tuesday through friday, but i waill go to saturday, which is really sunday cuz kelvin kinda left at 2 30, and we started to yell at each other at 3 in the morning... ill use a dialouge this time, and in canto first, then english after...
mom - :looks at comp moniter: lei tzau gun mut yea ah??
me - :looks at screen: blogger
mom - tzic hai meh ah?
me - blogger mai hai blogger loh
mom - tzic hai meh?
me - blogger mai hai blogger loh, mo duc gai gah
mom - lei hai seung meen tzau meh ah
me - seh yea loh
mom - seh meh ah?
me - meh yea do duc
mom - lei yu goa mm sic gai sic ghae wah lei yee gah tzic hac fun gao
me - dung ngoa dah yune ngoa woue fun gah la
mom - mm duc, yee gaa tzic hac huau fun
me - blogger hai ngoa dah hai internet seung meen dun yun tai ghea yea loh
mom - lei sau seng
me - lei mm hai seung ngoa gai sic blogger hai meh lei meh?? ngoa guy sic tzau lah!
mom - lei ghay see hoc duc gum yai ah?
me - meh yai ah, dah mai tza mah, sup mm fun tzong tzae
mom - yee gah yea lah, yew fun gow lah, lei hei mei seung ngoa quit aol ah??
me - quit mai quit loh, lei di hai lei ghae mun tai, mm hi ngoa ah... :types that one blogger about how mai mom wont let me blog nemore:
mom - lei tao seen dah ngoa meh ah?
me - blogger?
mom - hai mai goh goh doh woue tai doe gah?
me - yea
mom - lei yu goh hai tzae doh hai gum ghae wah ngoa tsun hai cut aol service gah, lei yee gah fai dee huau fun! :walks out of room:
me - :smiles and laughs to self and tells maiself: no pity, no mercy, no forgiveness to the weak minded.
ah...i believe that is so tru, no pity, no mercy, and no forgiveness for the weak minded, and now for the translation...
mom - :looks at comp moniter: what r u doing
me - :looks at screen: blogger
mom - and what is blogger?
me - blogger is blogger...
mom - and it is what?
me - blogger is blogger, you cant explain it
mom - what r u doing on it?
me - writing stuff
mom - writing what?
me - anything i want...
mom - if you cant explain, then go to bed now
me - just wait till im done, ill go to sleep after
mom - no, go to sleep now
me - blogger is what i type online for other ppls to see what i type...
mom - shut up
me - didnt u want me to explain what a blogger was?? i just explained it!
mom - where did u learn to become so disobedient?
me - what? i'll jus finish typing... it'll jus take 15 minutes
mom - its late, and we have to go to sleep, do u want me to quit (she means cancel, as in take away internet service) aol??
me - i dont care if you quit it, thats ur problem wif the net, not mine... :types that one blogger about how mai mom wont let me blog nemore:
mom - what did you just type about me?
me - blogger?
mom - is everybody going to see it?
me - yea
mom - if ur like this next time, i will cut aol service, go to sleep now! :walks out of room:
me - :smiles and laughs to self and tells maiself: no pity, no mercy, no forgiveness to the weak minded.
sigh...its not mai fault that i have such weak minded parents...no you know how i wrote inner turmoil...parents are so hypocritical, thats the way they were made, they have to be rite, and if they found out that they were wrong, they'll blame it on someone else, (preferable me) and they cover up what they said (or did) wrong. if thats the way the universe works, i wanna be the one to scream u suck in their faces...:nods head:
And the wind brought Clive @ 12:17 PM
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